Perception and Reality

Last week I was at the playground in Heidelberg with my kids.  Now read that sentence again.  Unless you have lived in a foreign country with small children you might not grasp the vast meaning in this one sentence.  It means I packed five kids in the car and drove on foreign roads with foreign signs and tried to dodge the awful  “blitzers” (hidden cameras that catch you if you are speeding and leave an unpleasant bill in your mailbox a few days later).  It means I found a parking spot in a foreign city…which is a subject requiring another blog post.  It means I walked from my parking spot with five children in a country where having green hair is less conspicuous.  The sentence implies me settling for a moment on a bench and being surrounded by a sea of foreign languages as I watch my children play.  You get the point; a lot is packed into this sentence.   Now that you have a little more background let me once again begin.

LAST WEEK I WAS AT THE PLAYGROUND IN HEIDELBERG WITH MY KIDS.   I glanced over in the direction of the sandbox where my two year old was playing, and for a slit second thought that I saw the husband of a very special friend.  The resemblance was astonishing.  He was playing with a small boy that would have been just about the same age as my friend’s young son.  Everything fit.  The perception lasted a fraction of a second until another part of my brain interrupted and flooded me with reality.   What happened in that fraction of a second was astounding because in that moment it was my friend’s husband which meant she was close by.  The surge of assorted emotions spilling into my subconscious was astonishing.  I have returned to the very real way I felt in that moment many times during the last week.  I am grateful that perception and reality are generated in different parts of my brain so that I can experience these rare moments. 

I love the place God has me right now.  I experience so many other moments that last much longer and bring me so much delight.  I am surrounding by so many things that bring me so much joy.  Quite frankly though; there is a feeling I cannot escape.  I miss the people I left behind very, very much. 

So to everyone on the other side of the ocean I love and miss you all so very much!  I am grateful for the moment I experienced between perception and reality.  Maybe you will be blessed with one of these as well!  J  

"How great are his signs,how mighty his wonders!  His kingdom is an everlasting kingdom,  and his dominion endures from generation to generation."  Daniel 4:3

Has it really been six months since my last post?  Somehow the winter swallowed me!  When I think back on the winter and the last six months, I think of the word "challenging".  The winter itself was not bad!  We played more board games and read more books than we ever have!  We enjoyed our fireplace and loved playing in the snow.  But there was a lot of sickness this winter. We have never been so sick! In January Silas got very sick.  On the very memorable night when I drove to the hospital with him, I realized that my baby was dying.  In the 12 hours following our arrival at the hospital, I witnessed the doctors fight for his little life.  I practice alternative medicine, but have always said that there is a place for modern medicine...in the case of emergency.  The doctors were so amazing, and I am so thankful for the wonderful way they took care of Silas.  We were in the hospital for seven days. I have always been thankful for my children, but witnessing my baby fighting for his life has left me literally prostrate before my God, thanking him for the gift of life, and the gift of my children. 

 

But physical sickness has not been our only challenge this winter.   We have also been challenged by the state of our children's hearts.  Parenting is such an enormous challenge.  Can I get a virtual "amen!"...anyone?  We have been concerned by some attitudes and sentiments that have developed in these last few months. We are clinging to God's promises for our children, and begging him for wisdom. Not all is bleak though!  We have also seen some wonderful characteristics and relationships develop with our sweet kids!

Lukas and Rebekah have developed and really special bond.  They are like best friends.  There is just something really special between these two.  They build forts, play "Mutter, Vater, Kind" (Mother, Father, child), and endless other imaginary games together.  It is so fun to watch them together! 

I keep telling Daniel "SHOW ME YOUR TEETH"...but I was informed by my sweet husband that was a very "American" demand.  Haha :)  Daniel has almost finished first grade.  His reading and writing in German is exceptional.  Unlike me, he has almost no accent when he speaks German.  He had made a lot of friends, and loves the freedom of living in a little German town where he can just walk to his friends house, or play soccer in the street. 

So what about Germany?  We love it here!  Around every corner we are discovering amazing pieces of history.  On Saturday, I took the kids to Bensheim to meet some of our friends for breakfast.  We ended up having a hug conversation about bombs since we walked through the old part of downtown and then the "rebuilt" part of downtown.  It is so sad to witness a tiny little bit of the devastation that war causes.  These building were part of Bensheim that was not destroyed...built in the 1700's!  There are just discoveries around every corner.  Our German is continuing improve (well all of us except Matt...his German of course is perfect).  I personally spend a lot of time trying to figure out how to roll the BACK of my tongue.  It is quite tricky.  I have gotten a few strange looks as I walk down the road saying "grün" (green) over and over and over.  I know I will never lose my accent, but it is just so extreme sometimes.  They say it is harder for adults to train the tongue muscles, but I am determined!

So now you all know that the Funks are still alive and well.  We have survived our first full winter!

The Perfect Analogy

Many people have asked me, "how is life in Germany with four kids?"  A question like this can be hard to answer!  Hmmmm... well... it is wonderful, it is exhausting, extremely rewarding, overwhelming at times.  Wait, do I seem to be contradicting myself?  Then I thought of the perfect analogy, straight out of the southwest:  RODEO!  It is crazy, but these talented athletes do it because they love it.  Being a Mama can be crazy, but I absolutely love it.  Here is an example: Taking the kids on a walk...do you see the connection?  It might just be me, but sometimes I feel like I am herding wild calves down the street!

Just like these athletes it is a skill.  Just when I am feeling like I have it all together: the kids are clean and playing quietly, the laundry is caught up, dinner is simmering on the stove, and I am enjoying the "ride".  Then all of the sudden without any warning chaos breaks out.  The kids go wild, the two-year old slips out to take a dip in the mud, the baby spits up all over everything, and dinner boils over.  Now I am barely hanging on :)

The rodeo athlete also feels fortunate for the opportunity to compete.  Likewise I feel blessed to be the Mama to four precious kids.  Living in a foreign country adds another element to the games, making it more challenging, and at the same time more fun.  Learning how to speak another language is exciting and hard!  When I spend the afternoon with a friend, speaking German for 3 hours, I'm excited I can do it.  At the same time my grammar is terrible so I have set goals for my future "training". 

Our life is not perfect.  Our life is not under control. Our life is exciting.  Our life is wonderful.  I am so very blessed to be the Mama of these four kids! 

Daniel is enjoying school, but struggling with the format (a LOT of sitting).  His German keeps getting better.  Soccer season has started and he is enjoying his new team and soccer practice.  He still talks about New Mexico a lot, and asks when we are going back.  The transition continues to be hard for him.

Silas is our sweet and precious little guy.  He loves being in the moby.  He seems to have some digestive issues, so large amounts of milk that go down seem to come right back up.  Despite the discomfort this certainly causes him, he is always ready to smile and laugh. 

Rebekah seems to win the heart of everyone she is around.  Her teachers at kindergarten talk about how sweet and kind she is at school.  I am happy to hear it because she certainly holds her own with her brothers when she is at home!  I absolutely love how God gave her a strong AND sweet spirit.

Lukas just turned 2-years old!  He is so much fun!  He is starting to talk so much, and delights us with his many new German and English words.  He definitely speaks more English, but understands everything in German.  He is a wonderful big brother, and is irrevocably in love with his little brother.  Can anyone see that little sparkle in his eye?  He has developed quite a sense of mischief and curiosity since his little brother was born!

Another Chapter in our Lives: Starting School

Daniel with his Schultüte and his brand new backpack

Starting school in Germany is so fun!  There is even a word for the whole process and ceremony of starting first grade: einschulung.  Yesterday was Daniel's "Einschulung".   Perhaps one of the best parts of this whole tradition is the "Schultüte".  Literally translated this means "school bag".  This special bag/cone contraption is packed with candy and gifts from the child's parents in celebration of the opening of a new chapter in the child's life.

A big sign welcoming all the first graders

Getting ready for the big ceremony!

 

Heading out of the gym with his class and teacher for their very first class

Certainly this is a new chapter in our brave little boy's life.  He has moved to a new country, learned a new language (he is totally fluent!), attended two different kindergartens, and made new friends in two different towns, and now is going through the whole process of entering the elementary school system...and all in only 9 MONTHS! 

Another cultural experience, another step of clinging to Jesus and trusting our amazing son to His care!

Stay tuned for upcoming post on life with four kids, and the continuing progress of renovating and decorating our new house!

A dozen eggs at my doorstep

Today I found a dozen eggs at my doorstep.  Why was this find so significant for me?  Let me explain. 

Ten days ago we moved for the second time in five months.  Each of these moves have been significant in their own way.  We finally feel like we have arrived home.  We have been living in a white shell and functioning out of boxes (to some degree) for five months.  Our new home feels warm and inviting.  We have moved from the valley up to the mountains surrounding Heidelberg.  The air feels cleaner, and the beauty is breath taking.  I guess the events that led up to the move is what has left us reeling.  We gave notice at our old condo three months ago.  Following that notice we began looking for a house.  Another crazy thing the Funks would do...give notice before finding a house.  It took about a month of intense searching and we found our house advertised in the newspaper.  I fell in love with it immediately, and we signed the lease two days later.  My husband was just a little slower to fall in love with the house, but at last he is really enjoying the house too.  I saw past all the yellow paint, old toilets, and holes in the walls, and saw a cozy house with tons of character.  What I did not see (and perhaps my husband did) was exactly how long it would take to renovate and get the house ready to move in. 

Driving 30 minutes each way through narrow winding German roads, just to get Lukas to sleep in his play pen and work like a crazy woman for two hours (mostly painting), then loading Lukas and driving back just in time to pick the kids up from kindergarten.  The afternoons were full with packing and cleaning the old place.  Matthias would drive to the new house straight from work and paint at night.  Often the kids would not even see him.  We kept up this pace, and about two weeks before the move realized that there was no way we could finish.  We were exhausted.   Then Matthias' family came to the rescue.  His brother and family came for one day when Matt had a holiday.  They worked from early morning until night and got another huge part of painting done.  Then one week before the move his Dad made the five hour drive down to us, and did some amazing things.  He stayed alone in our empty house and worked often from early morning until midnight or later.  Matt again would join him in the evenings, and they would work together after dark.  Light fixtures were installed (there were not any lights in the house, the previous renters took them all!), painting, wall repairs, and endless cleaning.  Matt's brother came once again and in one night, one very long night, they completely redid all three bathrooms.  New toilets, sinks, light fixtures, everything.  Wow.  I never would have guessed it could have been possible.  Meanwhile, I was at home taking care of the kids, and trying desperately to get everything packed and ready for the big moving day.  We all had short nights to say the least.  So the big moving day came.  I took the kids to my sister-in-laws house (a two hour drive) so we would be out of the way, and the exhausted trio (Matt, his brother Daniel, and Dad) moved our entire house with furniture, boxes, everything in one day.  A big sigh of relief?  Well no, not yet.  Our old condo still needed to be cleaned.  So once again I made the drive in the other direction and worked with my father-in-law to clean our huge five-story condo from top to bottom in the mornings. Then spent the afternoons struggling to bring order to the new house. The inspection from the landlord came three days later.  His answer: "not good enough".  He said the few minor marks on the walls would require us to paint ALL the walls, that the sinks were not shining enough, and the list went on.  That night I started to have intense contractions.  I was only 32 weeks, I could not keep up the pace.  So it all fell on my father-in-law.  He worked tirelessly the next two days, and our condo was perfect.  He even steam cleaned the windows!  Our house passed the second inspection, we would get our deposit back.  Now we could breath a huge sigh of relief.  My very amazing, and very exhausted father-in-law left four days ago, and now I am left with a house that is still in a state of caos.  

At last this brings me back to the significance of the eggs.  Yesterday I needed some eggs.  But I do not have a car (another interesting fact, our van broke down this week!)  I walked to four different little shops and no one had any eggs.  On the way home we met a very kind older gentleman, and I told him that we could not find any eggs.  We both had a laugh and I did not give this topic another thought. Today I began to feel very isolated, overwhelmed, and alone.  So I took the kids out on a walk.  When we got home there was a dozen, farm fresh eggs sitting on our doorstep.  This simple act of kindness was like the sun bursting through the clouds.  I am not alone, and we will make new friends in our new little town. These eggs were followed by a visit from the sweet gentleman's wife later this afternoon.  The smallest acts of kindness can be used in the biggest way.  I don't think I will ever forget that dozen eggs sitting on my doorstep!

Another Side of our Story

Our little city's coats of arms!

 Rauenberg, the little city we thought would become our home...everything has changed now.  My blog posts so far have really shown the fun and exciting side of our move.  We have certainly enjoyed many things since our move, but there is another side to the story.  Moving to another country is fun and exciting, but it is also extremely challenging and isolating.  I thought I would share a little from this side of our story. 

When we arrived we immediately felt that our house did not feel like a "home".  We tried to ignore this fact and make the best of our situation.  There were plenty of challenges to distract us during the day.  Opening bank accounts, calling countless midwifes in search of a home birth option, shopping in general, finding a school for the kids, a doctor for the kids, finding the doctors office (!).  The list could go on farther, but first I should mention that this all had to take place in German, a second language I have not had the privilege of studying, but instead have taking the "sink or swim" approach.  At the end of the day, the endless echo in our house, and hearing every step or move anyone made starting driving our stress levels really high.  Let me just pause here and say with a smile that anyone who knew our family would probably not have used the word "quiet" to describe our children!  We are a loud family!  Two weeks ago neighbors from both sides (we are living in a condo) came together to inform us that we were being too loud.   They emphasized that they could hear EVERYTHING, when we gave the kids baths...everything.  I asked what we could do to make the situation better.  Their answer?  Please keep the kids quiet and off the stairs in the morning.  Wow.  The only way we could fulfill this request would be to move into the basement.  This was the last straw, we knew that we could not live like this.  Last week my kids got into a fight (yes, my children do occasionally have disagreements that escalate quite quickly :-).  Later that morning one of the neighbors asked if we had a terrible accident...I guess she thought we were dying or something.  Living under a microscope is not fun.  So last week we gave notice on our house.  Three months notice is required here, so we are moving at the end of May!  If Matt's family did not think we are crazy before, it is certainly confirmed now.  Germans do not just pick up and move.  It is much more common for them to live in a distasteful apartment for 13 years while they search for the perfect home (a real example from one of Matt's co-workers).  Now there is a new item on our "to do" list:  find a house.

Meanwhile, we have contact with the moving company about once a week regarding our boxes.  Over three months after shipment they still have not arrived.  Our sweet kids pray every night that our boxes with their special toys and stuffed animals will come the next day.  We have learned to live without our things, but anticipate some familiar items!  It has been frustrating to deal with customs in England, the port where are boxes are being held.  

The kids are doing better all the time.  The kindergarten situation is improving, and we might have even made a friend or two.  We invited our first friend next week...the kids miss playing with friends.  They beg me to just walk by their friends houses in hopes that they might be in their yard.  It is cute to walk down the streets and hear kids yelling out "Hi Rebekah, hi Daniel!"  In a town this size we see someone they know just about every time we go out.  It makes us feel like we might have a place here.  Yet behind this excitement, lies a dull ache, because we are about to put the kids through another move.  We think it would be better for our family to be closer to our church and the people in our church.  We are very isolated a feel far away in the town we live in now. The decision on a house and a town is making us feel very torn.  Our children have been through so much...it is just hard to know what is best in our situation. 

New challenges rise every day, and we long for a place to call home.  Just when we feel almost completely worn down Sunday arrives and we are refreshed to be with other Christians, and to hear God's word preached.  God is certainly sustaining us and we are SO grateful for His church!

So there is another little snapshot of life in the Funk family!

A cute little hotel just across the street from our condo

FASCHING! (english = carnival)

Fasching is an event that occurs the week before lent (lent is the six week period before Easter, which is basically characterized by self-denial.  No rich foods, no alcohol, no parties, etc.  It is a catholic practice).  Not all cities in Germany celebrate this week long party...the protestant based cities do not celebrate to the same extent.  But our little city celebrated big time!  The kids had a party for three days in a row (dressing in costumes, walking the streets of the city singing and dancing, and going to the city hall for a party and meeting the mayor).  These three days of parties were followed by three days of vacation! There were city wide parties every night, and stores stayed open extra late.  Adults and children alike dressed in costumes and went about their daily business for a WHOLE WEEK!  The kids thought it was great, and still talk about it.  Now we are in the lent season and no such parties are going :)  Here are a few pictures:

Our bat man and princess

Going to school in pajamas, for a pajama party!

Everything was decorated...even the bakeries and stores

One of Daniel's teachers...he took this picture.  She is a very nice teacher!

The school is all decorated!

Daniel made a traditional "fasching" picture, he was very proud of this.  Please note his choice of pajamas to wear to school.  Polar bears and camo.  He was so determined and said he thought they "matched".  lol.  I love this boy!

Rebekah in her traditional "fasching" hat made of news paper.  Good thing I got this picture, because when we got home and Lukas got a hold of this hat we found out that the design was very fragile :)